Sometimes It Just Hurts
I guess it's true, life can change in an instant, unexpectedly, rapidly, and sometimes causing a great deal of sadness. You see your life one way and then one minute everything changes and you can no longer see your life's vision or what life will look like anymore.
These last 7 days have been a whirlwind of emotions, let downs, sadness, and feelings of failure. One thought that has crossed my mind a lot is "I am just not good enough." And yes, I have allowed my mind to get lost in that thought more than once and every time it happens, a text will come through or someone will knock at my door and will have just the right God given words to snap me out of it. I suppose I've always struggled since I was a little girl with fear of not being wanted or felt I was unworthy of being wanted, but the feelings of being undesirable, unworthy, and unaccepted this week have been on repeat in my mind a little more than I ever remember. But then, God's voice is so much stronger than the enemy's lies. God tells me through His word that those thoughts are straight from satan himself, because God thinks the exact opposite of me. I am desired and chased by God! I am worthy through the blood of Jesus.
Back to those text messages and knocks at my door....
I know God's word and I have even memorized many of the Scriptures people have shared with me this week, but every time I heard a lie from satan, God would send someone with the exact Scripture I needed to be reminded of in such a timely matter. Two that have really stood out and have encouraged me like crazy are:
Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; Your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands." (Thank you, Kim!)
Isaiah 43:2 "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fires of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you." (Thank you, Brian!)
Although I am still sad and grieving and sometimes struggle with feelings of discouragement, I firmly believe that God has this. Even though I do not know what my next step is or where to go from here, I know that God is carrying me through this path called life. He gave me life, the least I can do is trust Him with it. No, this is not easy and sometimes it just hurts, but beauty DOES come from ashes!
These last 7 days have been a whirlwind of emotions, let downs, sadness, and feelings of failure. One thought that has crossed my mind a lot is "I am just not good enough." And yes, I have allowed my mind to get lost in that thought more than once and every time it happens, a text will come through or someone will knock at my door and will have just the right God given words to snap me out of it. I suppose I've always struggled since I was a little girl with fear of not being wanted or felt I was unworthy of being wanted, but the feelings of being undesirable, unworthy, and unaccepted this week have been on repeat in my mind a little more than I ever remember. But then, God's voice is so much stronger than the enemy's lies. God tells me through His word that those thoughts are straight from satan himself, because God thinks the exact opposite of me. I am desired and chased by God! I am worthy through the blood of Jesus.
Back to those text messages and knocks at my door....
I know God's word and I have even memorized many of the Scriptures people have shared with me this week, but every time I heard a lie from satan, God would send someone with the exact Scripture I needed to be reminded of in such a timely matter. Two that have really stood out and have encouraged me like crazy are:
Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; Your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands." (Thank you, Kim!)
Isaiah 43:2 "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fires of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you." (Thank you, Brian!)
Although I am still sad and grieving and sometimes struggle with feelings of discouragement, I firmly believe that God has this. Even though I do not know what my next step is or where to go from here, I know that God is carrying me through this path called life. He gave me life, the least I can do is trust Him with it. No, this is not easy and sometimes it just hurts, but beauty DOES come from ashes!
Oh Becky. I always love reading what you and Brian write on Facebook. I've been waiting to see what you guys were going to say and I love what BRIAN wrote the other day and what you wrote today. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I've noticed that when God redirects our path, it comes with all these emotions that you mentioned. Why can't God just tell us the new path He wants us to take? I'm reminded that His ways are not our ways. Keep fighting satan with God's word. You and Brian and your children will be a great asset to the people God will send you to. Meanwhile learn from this.
ReplyDeleteI love you my sister.
Debbie Oakes